“When were you most alive this week?”
That’s all he said. That’s all it took to crank the still-picture reel of my mind.
Just when did my heart beat loud enough to shake my lungs? When did my blood dash like a water slide within my veins? When could I tell that I was most alive this week?
I started writing down my options:
- My 25-min DVD workout?
- Discovering a word well written?
- Feeling our fine feathered bed falling faintly around my weary body just moments before drifting off to sleep?
Do these even count? What if it’s true, what C.S. Lewis once penned:
So do those extra moments of snuggle time count? Or reading on my lap time? Or LEGOs sprawled-out-on-the-floor-with-my-shortest-one time?
Does watching their eyes spark with excitement count as they realize they just learned something new?
Or how about when dear friends speak Truth and speak Life over my frail frame?
“Worship is more than mere emotions,” he added, “but not less.”
And then I remembered. It came without fanfare and left almost without notice, but it left me breathless, almost speechless, and definitely most alive.
In an instant of unexpected and perfectly timed revelation, I spoke the name that resurrects new life. I had nothing else to say in that quiet moment of prayer. My dear sisters in Christ had just prayed Truth and Life over me. But nothing more could quite express my gratitude than one word and my heart never beat more soundly, my blood never moved so deeply. In short, I never felt more alive than when I spoke nothing more and nothing less than name which is above every other name, “Jesus.”
In this life I may find treasure in the small things: my sacred 25-minutes of alone time with a workout video, or the joy of discovering I’ve written a beautiful word, or even basking in a moment of outrageously appropriate lyrics from a favorite song. But, by the grace of God, I found life in the greatest wonder of them all – the Son of God, the Friend of sinners, the Love of my soul: Jesus.
It is my prayer, that you, being rooted and established in love, may also have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ for you. (Eph 3:17-18, paraphrased)